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Stupid Criminal Roundup |
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Sunday, 05 October 2008 |
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 There seems to be a ridiculous amount of stupid criminal news out lately. It must be the change in weather or something, but I thought I would put a few of the best together as a quick read.
Click the "Read More" link for the full story, but if you are wondering about the guy in red pictured to the left, he is a sex offender who was arrested for not complying with his sex offender registry duties. Click the image to see more funny mugshots from TheSmokingGun.com.
 The Underwear Burgler
Starting off this round up is actually not so much a stupid criminal as
a gross one.
The
picture you see to the left is of a man who broke into a Sonic
restaurant in Coralville, IA. We can assume the reason he has underwear
on his head is to avoid identification from security cameras inside the
restaurant.
Digital enhancement of the picture was unable to
determine if the underwear were clean or if his initials could be found
in the waistband.
The Genius from Newark
 The
24 year old genius from Newark pictured to the right, Shawn E. Jones,
was cruising through Delaware when Officers witnessed him dangerously
swerve across a two lane highway.
A short pursuit ensued and Jones was able to disable his own vehicle by
strking several street signs and a large utility pole.
Once taken into custody, Jones admitted that he had swerved
initially because he was trying to roll a joint.
A
partially rolled joint and 43 oxycontin pills were found in Jones'
vehicle and he is held on charges of drunken driving, possession with
intent to deliver narcotics,
disregarding an officer’s signal, maintaining a vehicle for keeping a
controlled substance, possession of marijuana, malicious mischief by a
motor vehicle, reckless driving and no proof of insurance.
How much gas is in there? Wait, I'll light a match to see...
Formal
charges haven't yet been filed yet against a female accomplise,
possibly because local authorities are still laughing to hard to write,
but a man in Wisconsin was stealing gas from another persons vehicle
when he couldn't see how much he had siphoned out. In a stroke of
brilliance the man decided to use his cigarette lighter to check the
level of gas in the container.
You can guess what happened next
which resulted in the man being left with burned hands and neighbors
calling police. The charges the man is being held on includes
this ironic tidbit: negligent use
of burning materials. And people say cops have no sense of humor :).
Real Life Newman
 In an example of life imitating
art, more than 9,000 pieces of mail were found in a Livingston county
storage unit rented by former rural postal carrier Jill Hull. Some of
the mail had postmarks dated as far back as 2005.
Hull,
34, was a rural carrier for 3 1/2
years until her resignation Aug. 16. Three weeks later, after she fell
behind in payments, the storage space in Fowlerville was opened,
revealing loads of undelivered mail, postal agent Douglas Mills said.
"When
asked why she did it, Hull stated that she could not do the job but
needed the job," Mills said in an affidavit to support a theft charge
filed in federal court in Detroit.
"She
said after a couple of weeks of doing this, she realized that nobody
seemed to notice that she did not deliver it. I wonder if she got the
idea from Seinfeld?
What
goes around come around...
Deputies for the Baker County Sheriff's Office in Sanderson, FL
recently responded to a domestic disturbance at a home in their
jurisdiction. During their investigation the Deputies took the husband
into custody and decided they would arrest the wife as well. This is
where things went bad for her.
The wife, 63-year-old
Mary Davis, had other ideas and ran to her minivan which was parked in
the driveway leaving the driver's door open (this becomes important later). She then attempted to run over
one of the Deputies on scene.
After missing the Deputy, Davis tried to flee the scene by backing out
of the driveway but ran into the families lawn mower. Davis then fell
out of the van and it continued, out of control doing circles in front
of the home. As the van completed it's first circle Davis was run over
and received critical injuries. The van ultimately stopped by running
into one of the responding Deputies cruisers.
The BCSO advised they will file charges against Davis when she recovers.
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